The Winds are Changing

Good luck has come my way. I hate to jinx things, but I wonder how long it will last. For now, I need to just enjoy it.

I got the job! I will officially be working from home starting July 12th. I don't have words to describe how ecstatic I am! It's been so hard the last year. I've felt like such a failure being unable to help provide financially for my family.

The part that gives me pause and makes me worry about my luck changing again is that it is a temporary position until September or so. The silver lining is that if my ratings are good, I could be offered year-round work, or at the very least could start up again in January when their season picks up again. If nothing else, it will provide me with more recent work experience that could help me in the job hunt.

This couldn't have come at a better time. I've been slipping into a darker place recently (one reason I haven't blogged in awhile!) and really needed things to change. Now I just have to pray that things continue to improve!

I'm most happy that we can be a bit financially secure right now, and am hoping I keep the job so that continues. I feel horrible that we can't provide the things that I would like to provide for our children.

Speaking of the children, Kierra said something to my husband the other day that totally made me stop and marvel at her. My husband and the kids were waiting in the car for me. Kierra tells him that she wants to be a doctor when she grows up. She has said this a lot in the past. So he asked her why. In the past she's said because she wants to "feel people better." Sounds goofy, but the sentiment is beautiful. This time she says, "So I can fix Mommy so that she can run with me." I'm tearing up just typing that out even! She's always had something special to her. Not to push my other kids to the side since I know they have their own special gifts as well; but she's always had this wise-beyond-her-years understanding of people and genuine empathy. I've always felt that she was a healer, like me. Of course I won't push her to do that with her life if she doesn't choose it, but I will support what she wants to do. And I really would not be surprised if she wants to become a doctor.

This whole discussion reminds me of something I considered doing with her. This has pushed me further to the side of wanting to do it. I found Reiki healing classes for kids, but she has to be a bit older yet. I'm sure many will think I'm crazy for believing in that "made-up stuff," but I have seen energy healing firsthand and have been told that I am an energy healer if I ever would open myself up to it. I want classes for myself as well; but I do think Kierra has some amazing gifts as well.